Talking about Roosh Valizadeh's Misogyny on the Internet: A Tutorial

Often, I do not wade into the scary nightmare that is Men's Rights Activists vs. Third Wave Feminists on the internet. It's a frustrating task whereby you find yourself wondering if you can call them both nuts and refrain from weeping into your cereal bowl about the state of discourse in the social media age. But sometimes, not often, I find myself so completely on the side of those 'reactionary' Third-wave 'feminazies' and I feel the uncontrollable compulsion to become part of the conversation.

One such case happened just this week after the announcement of the since canceled International Meet-up of misogynists - oops, I mean Men's Rights Activists - a la Roosh Valizedeh's web page www.returnofkings.com. Announced earlier this week, he explained he wanted to allow men to come together to 'serve men in a way that the internet sites do not'. I can only imagine they mean a circle jerk of sexist woman hating where you can see your paramour's face rather than just read his catchy social media handle. "Oh, womenarewhores69, you make me feel like a whole new man!"

This announcement, of course, took social media by storm. Anytime known misogynsts admit they are going to gather together in public, the wheels start turning about how to counter their moronic drivel. Soon after, he posted a list of cities these meet-ups would take place, and you know the rest. Counter-protests were planned, governments started to scour their rule books to see if they could ban their assembly...the usual. Only, apparently that very obvious reaction was not foreseen by Master of his Universe, Roosh. Because after less than 24-hours, he's cancelled the meet-up citing that he can "no longer guarantee the safety and privacy of men" who attend. Someone should remind him that when you attend a PUBLIC meet up that is advertised on the internet, you have no presumption of privacy. Also, someone should remind him that the safety he is hand-wringing over is precisely the fear women live with every day just walking down a street alone. But I digress.

Much of the controversy with good 'ol Roosh is his 'Modest Proposal' that in order to stop rape we should just legalize rape on private property. He fancies himself Jonathan Swift, railing against the English for leaving the Irish to starve. In fact, you'll find a number of Roosh-apologists trolling the internet calling you an idiot for not recognizing 'How to Stop Rape' is as obvious and genius a work of art as Swift's epic and sarcastic bit of satire from 1729. This is an easy argument to deflate.

While Swift expertly and ingeniously pointed out the English crimes against the Irish by treating them as less than second class citizens and leaving them to starve, Roosh V is pointing out nothing but the fact that he thinks 'rape culture' is silly and that women are partially responsible for their own rapes. He posits that if rape were legal on private property, women would avoid private property and there would be no rapes. This is not quite the brilliant satirical argument of Swift. Not even close. In fact, trying to compare the two is like trying to compare the Twilight fanfiction of a thirteen year old to War and Peace.

Of course, his 'How to Stop Rape' is only tip of the iceberg. His website is full of slut-shaming, victim blaming, misogynistic nonsense. Part pick-up artist, part modern day philosopher for the downtrodden male, he can't decide is he wants to have sex with as many women as possible or he wants to believe that all women willing to have sex with him are sluts. He and his contributors generally hold both positions simultaneously. Moreover, he and contributors have mused that women should not vote or hold office, should not 'abandon' their children to work, should not be fat or ugly, and have a deceitful nature. It is a cornucopia of every harmful stereotype about women and sexuality since the dawn of time. And please, do not wade into the comment section if you want to keep your sanity and protect your day from being ruined.

Committed MRAs cannot be reasoned with. It's a waste of your time to even bother. But there are men who might be inching toward Men's Rights Activism that may still open to reason. In those cases, all you can do is point out the logical errors in an ideology that believes it is now at a 'disadvantage' by society equalizing the sexes. Men are not disadvantaged by women who are their equals, but after centuries of patriarchal rule if can seem that way. It's hard to remember that going from a place of power to an equal can feel like disadvantage.

And don't forget cases of legitimate concern on behalf of men. It is true that boys and men are as harmed by sexism as women. The idea that being a woman is bad and that 'feminine' behaviors are negative only contributes to boys and men who do not feel comfortable in their own skin should they enjoy typically 'feminine' behaviors. The obvious reaction can be to overcompensate their 'masculinity'. There is, too, a bias in marriage and family courts. We still live in a time when men have to pay alimony to wives who have moved on and found better economic footing, but the same rules to not apply to ex-hubands. The natural bias to favor moms over dads in court is becoming less pronounced but it is still there. These are issues that hurt men and women alike. But don't let the MRA brigade fool you into thinking these issues are what the Men's Rights movement is about. Scant few entries at 'Return of Kings' deal with any of these legitimate and complex issues, rather focusing on asserting that wives are all conniving backstabbers ready to steal your money and your free-will.

In short, these men are sad and disturbed. I'm not sure how they got there. Maybe they were turned down by too many women they felt entitled to being with. Maybe they went through nasty divorces. Maybe they spent too much time surfing the net for the most insane Third-wave feminists to work up a righteous anger about all women. Motivation really doesn't matter. The point is, these dudes are ridiculous, their grievances infantile, and their organization dangerous to women. I do not support silencing them. On the contrary, I wish them to speak out loudly. That way I know every troubling and moronic thought that comes to their minds. And I'm legitimately sad they canceled their little pow-wow. I think the counter protests would have been fun to organize as well as enlightening to the few hundred neanderthals they managed to assemble. I guess we'll have to wait until they put on their big-boy pants and feel 'safe' enough to be misogynists in the face of adversity. I think we'll be waiting a while.