The Freeing Election of 2016

So, we all agree this election cycle has been a shitshow, yes? Great. As much as the media coverage and the candidates themselves have made my eyes twitch with anger and annoyance, I feel freer this cycle than any other.

Why? Because I can and will openly admit that all of the two major party candidates suck...hard. No more pretending the Republican Party isn't so bad because at least they are fiscally responsible. No more explaining why, even though a candidate said raped women can 'shut down' conception, they are still a better choice than a guy spending money like it falls out of the sky. Also, no more hating the 'other side' so hardcore because I've been conditioned to do so. The rose-tinted glasses are lifted. Both parties suck. All candidates in either party suck. There is no lesser of two evils here. There are just a bunch of people who've manipulated enough other people into believing that they could or should be the President of the United States.

I can be snarky and mean to all sides now. It's freeing AF.

While I campaign for Gary Johnson this year, be clear: I have no delusions he will be winning. People are far too invested in the false dichotomy of Republican/Democrat, Good/Evil, Left/Right. Even if candidates don't actually represent them, they've chosen a team and that team will win, goddamnit, or the world will end. But also, while I campaign for Gary Johnson, I can finally say what I've always wanted to say about both major political parties, ideas, and candidates. I can say, "Republicans: It's 2016. If you really believe now is the time to fight a backward war on progressive ideas about who can get married or use a bathroom you need a life. And also, stop calling yourself 'small government.'" Just as I can say, "Democrats: it's hard to pretend that you actually give a shit about poor people or criminal justice when you've stacked the deck for corporations that exploit the poor as well as making police armed tax collectors."

Damn, that feels good. No more compromising my beliefs to win. I'm going to lose this year. I'm going in knowing that, and as much as it hurts my stomach to think about what the outcome might be in November, the clear conscience I have in expressing my political commentary is almost enough to make up for it.

Republicans: Mind your own business. Live your own life. If you see someone creeping on your daughter in the bathroom...report it. Just as you would if a man was creeping on your son in the bathroom. Stop thinking you are fighting Jesus' war by refusing to bake a damn cake. Love your neighbor. Judge not, lest ye be judged. Walk a mile in the shoes of a stranger. Try to hear other people when they tell you their own experience. Stop pretending you don't like government spending when you love it as much as a Democrat when it comes to your own pet projects.

Democrats: Stop stoking tensions to win votes via fear. Listen to people other than ones you've deemed 'allowed' to have opinions. Safe spaces are dumb. Speech censorship is dumb and can be turned right around on you before you know it. Money is real. The Debt is insane. Spending projects have to be funded, and no, we don't have enough room to raise taxes on anyone and maintain a thriving economy. You can't 'fix' capitalism especially when you helped create cronyism, and you can't ignore how socialism has only 'worked' in countries with small homogeneous populations. Universal Healthcare on a federal level would be a disaster and Obamacare does not work for most of us. Government shouldn't tell people how to live and what to buy. And Government regulated monopolies are still monopolies.

Both of the major parties need a time-out and a long talk with themselves. Sadly, the electorate is likely not going to give them one, but at least I got off that train to insanity and I feel better than ever.