Inspirational/Feel Good Quotes Are Dumb

Okay, y'all. I'm going to take a moment to step away from politics and rant about one of my biggest pet peeves: The inspirational/feel good quote. I hate them. I mean, I truly hate them. They are inane, generic, and usually not even remotely correct. People walk around tattooing this crap to their bodies, pasting it all over their facebook pages, and generally annoying rational thinking people with quotes that do not pass even the most mild logic tests. Let's look deeper on some of these quotes that we can never seem to run far enough away from, shall we? 

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" - Audrey Hepburn 
Alright, Ms. Hepburn. If you were going for the most moronic way of saying, 'You can do anything', you hit the nail right on the head. Other than the obvious point that, just because one word can be broken into two different words than make whatever point you are trying to make doesn't make it profound, this is also categorically incorrect. Some things ARE impossible. No use lying to yourself about it. I'm never going to climb Mt. Everest. For one, I think walking down the block is more exercise than strictly necessary. Two, I have chronic asthma that won't even allow me to enjoy the Rocky Mountains without wanting to die. Some things are impossible. It's just a fact. Get over it, move on. 

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss/Bernard M Baruch/whoever
This one I might hate the most. Now, not to disparage the good doctor, but this is absolutely wrong, not to mention incredibly narcissistic and borderline sociopathic. Let me get this straight, no matter what you do, you are right and anyone who questions or criticizes you, is obviously of no importance. It's no wonder the 'ME! ME! ME!' generation of special snowflakes gets such a raging hard-on over this stupid quote. But think about this. What if this was Adolph Hitler's mantra? Then Eichmann and Goering would "matter" and all rational thinking, reasonable people would "not matter"? Those anti-genocidal peeps are total 'haters'! Use your head. If you are doing or thinking something stupid, wrong, immoral - people will mind. And they will be right to do so. 

"Belief creates the actual fact." - William James
No, dude. It doesn't. 

 "Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans." -Allen Saunders
Oh really? And what, exactly, would life be like if we all wandered around like hopeless hippies just 'doing what we feel, man' with no regard to planning? What roads would you drive on? What food would you eat? Sure, you shouldn't get so caught up in the planning and forget to enjoy the experience of life. But, Jesus, I'm glad people plan shit. Otherwise life would be a damn nightmare. 

“There are no accidents…there is only some purpose that we haven’t yet understood.” -Deepak Chopra 
Well, isn't that a profound line of bullshit? 

“Remember, happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think.” - Dale Carnegie 
If that were true, stupid people would be miserable and smart people would be happy as clams. We all know that's not true. In fact, thinking usually makes people less happy. It doesn't mean that it's not a worthy exercise. Thinking makes you more fulfilled. It makes you a better person. But happy? Please tell that to all the brilliant miserable people out there. On the other hand, he could mean 'happiness is a frame of mind', also a ridiculous thing to say. Because, I'm pretty sure the starving masses all over the world can't just 'get happy' with a new attitude. 

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”  - Marilyn Monroe 
Really? Do people actually believe this tripe? Imperfection CAN be beautiful. Genius CAN be misinterpreted as madness. And being ridiculous is SOMETIMES better than being boring. This list of absolutes is absolutely moronic. Look at the flip side. If you have few imperfections, you are less beautiful. If you are clinically insane, we should not treat your mental disorder but rather induct you into MENSA. If you have a stable and 'boring' life, you are less 'good' than someone who does crazy shit all day. Give me a damn break. This is an excuse for people with low self-esteem and inferiority complexes to feel better about themselves and their life choices. Nothing more. Nothing less. Why the fuck do you need Marilyn Monroe to babble incoherently to make yourself feel better. Be beautiful because you think you are. Improve your mind without descending into madness. And live whatever life you want to live and stop trying to rationalize your choices with silly and inaccurate quotes! 

There are plenty more, but I think you get my point. Stop with the fucking inspirational quotes. They are stupid. Make your own quotes. If not, at least run your 'favorite quotes' through the filter known as your rational mind and make sure they made an ounce of sense. 

End Rant.