Yes, I'm a Feminist.

"Feminist" has become a popular whipping boy on social media. Some of that is the fault of bad feminists, but the bigger culprit is men who seek out, like an anti-feminist Drudge Report, any and every story of self-proclaimed feminists being absurd in order to delegitimize actual rational Feminism. Unfortunately, as a libertarian, I come across this mentality more often than I'd like. In a guise of 'just looking to keep the facts straight' in the face of 'female emotional bullshit' or whatever, many men within our political movement have a pathological need to tell women in the West that they have no problems and kindly STFU.

Fuck. That. Noise.

I used to be the 'feminist hating feminist'. I followed enough people with these anti-feminist attitudes that I began to think Feminism had become a farce of itself - existing mostly just to sit around bitching about things that are, at the end of the day, not a big deal. You know, the things you read on Tumblr and then scratch your  head wondering if these people just look for reasons to be upset. Yes, there are certainly feminists like that. But mostly, feminist are normal women who just are sick of the bullshit. They are people getting very tired of having to explain sexism over and over with people who really don't care if sexism is real or not anyway. They don't look for ways to drag men down. They hate the Patriarchy, not men.

I'm now a proud, card-carrying Feminist. Yep, it's not a dirty word to me. All rational people should be feminists. I'll never stop enlightening men who don't get that their reality isn't everyone's reality. I'll never apologize for stating facts to a person who doesn't want to see them. I will never again, be that woman who shoves my own reality down to attempt to rationalize men's attitudes when they don't get it. How often do you think these same men spend trying to understand where women come from? How much more time do they spend trying to disprove the rape culture versus listening to women who've been victimized by men who felt emboldened by our cultural norms?

Despite the fear of being a dreaded 'Social Justice Warrior', I will tell you, flat out, the reason women are frustrated as hell at men who are not #woke is that these men, undoubtedly, attempt to gaslight each one of us into believing the bias, sexism, harassment, etc is either harmless or in our heads. A guy is catcalling you? Maybe it's rude, but certainly it's not threatening. A woman questions the sexist culture of gaming? Well, she's a slut anyway. Obviously, this is about her SJW agenda. The boss leers at you in a meeting? It's a compliment. And besides, what's the big deal. I'm sure it's isolated. Men rationalize to you that your own experience isn't really what you think it is? Well, maybe you are overreacting. Don't be so emotional. These things happen to you on a daily basis from so many men it's hard to keep track? Well, it's #notallmen!

Fuck. That. Too.

Undoubtedly, any time you try to talk about these issues online, a pack of men will rush to the thread to tell you that you are 'emotional' or 'irrational' or a 'SJW' or condescendingly tell you that 'well this isn't Iran, so what do you have to complain about?' The reaction by #notallmen to women's issues, complaints, concerns is so profoundly predictable I could have a conversation with myself and play both parts with ease. Just the other day, I posted a short video pointing out that Stanford Rapist Brock Turner would be released from jail next month, serving only 3 months on an already criminally light sentence. This led to a 'take down' of the idea of 'rape culture' in America by two libertarian-leaning guys that actually shocked me. How could anyone lose sight of the obvious injustice of the Brock Turner case and its accurate depiction of what the rape culture promotes (from the 'it was alcohol's fault' defense to 'he's had a promising future, what a shame' reaction to the sentence that was an outright slap in the face to the victim). Why is there such a strong need in so many men to delegitimize women's voices? Are they really afraid of being falsely accused of rape or harassment? Or are they doing things they shouldn't do and feel threatened by women voicing their intent to stop putting up with that bullshit? Sometimes I can't tell, and that's pretty scary.

What women are asking for is a little introspection, a little self-awareness, a little 'listen to me first and wait before telling me that my reality is not valid'. It seems, no matter how many women reiterate the problem of societal sexism, too many men simply say 'not true' and never bother to consider that we don't get together in private meetings to make up street harassment, men who don't understand boundaries, massively popular song lyrics and media depictions that teach boys 'no' means 'maybe', or workplace harassment.

I am a mother of two boys. Actually, having two boys and thinking of the men I want them to become has made me more of a feminist. Becuase, despite the false narrative, feminism is not about hating
men. Feminism benefits men. When men and women are equals, when women are no longer objects and men are no longer meant to be led by anger and libido, men are free to be who they are, not who society tells them to be. Men are not inherently violent. So, why are the vast majority of violent

crimes committed by men? Men are not born emotional stoics. So, why are men criticized for showing a wide range of emotions? Why is doing things arbitrarily labeled 'feminine' such a point of embarrassment for men? Societal sexism. I want my sons to be well-rounded, emotional, kind, humans who treat women as equals and respect women as they would men. I want them to understand consent and find it sexy. I want them to be whoever they want to be without fear of being called a 'pussy'. I want them to be the kind of men who hear a woman's story of sexism and sympathize rather than tell them 'I'm sorry. But that seems isolated.'

And, btw, feminists talk about injustice to men too. I know the popular commentary is 'but what about the men!' Gender equality requires that inequities to men are addressed. But it's pretty disingenuous when a man trying to disprove sexism comes with that argument because how often do you think he considers gender inequality that hurts women? Coming along to say 'but what about meeeeee' when there is a quantifiable, statistically proven imbalance that works in your favor is like asking gay people where there is no 'straight pride' parade or asking about 'white history month' during black history month. Deflecting conversation from a societal problem by asking it to focus on you is the absolutely last way to show you really care at all about gender injustice or inequality.

I am a feminist. And being a feminist goes hand in hand with libertarianism despite the outward appearance of most comment sections on social media. Free markets, free minds, and personal autonomy have no place for men who don't see women as equals. Mutual respect and the non-aggression principle are the very values that are the antidote to societal sexism. These are values all libertarians should embrace.